When is the last time you asked for feedback? Think back to a time when someone said to you: “I’d like to give you some feedback.” What did you feel? If you felt concern or fear, you’re not alone. Many people associate the word “feedback” with something bad, negative, or news to come about something they didn’t do so well.
What would it be like for you to consider feedback a gift? Honestly, it is likely not an everyday occurrence that we learn from another person ways we can improve ourselves. Feedback probably comes your way occasionally. Given that, find ways to embrace it.
Coaching involves working with clients to grow, learn, and develop from feedback; to really see it as a gift. To create goals and intentions around it. Most importantly, to ask for feedback. You can ask your manager, but you can also ask your customers, prospective clients, your spouse or life partner, your kids, your co-workers, your parents, your neighbors, your friends, and the list goes on. Opportunities for feedback are everywhere.
You can also ask yourself for feedback. I find that with my clients, self-feedback is often limited to the highs and lows of life. The tendency is to explore what happened when we failed at something or when we succeeded. But how about the way we spend most of our days? The ongoing behaviors, thoughts and feelings we have, the words we choose. What feedback can you give yourself about these things? Are you operating in alignment with your values, with who you want to be? Do your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings support you or disengage you?
What can you gain from this feedback exercise? The answer is an unveiling of who you are, how you operate, and how others perceive you. With that unveiling you can then determine the growth that awaits you.
I challenge you to ask ten people in your life for some specific and balanced feedback this week. By balanced feedback, I mean the bitter and the sweet – both warm and cool feedback. Ask for total honesty: that is where you’ll find a true gift. Then ask yourself for honest feedback as well. From there, determine what you will do with this gift you’ve been given.
Coaching Inquiries: What perspective do you carry about feedback? What growth awaits you? Who will you ask for feedback and how often?
