I think all parents would agree that raising children is a challenge. The moments when our children are crying, fighting with a sibling. whining, or all three at the same time, can be stressful and may even occur frequently.
One personal strategy that I use to battle the stress is to rise above the situation and find something special about the moment. This strategy includes:
- Reminding myself just how much I love my children.
- Reflecting upon how thankful I am to have children.
- Reminding myself that children bring both joyous and stressful situations to our lives.
- Embracing the fact that I am blessed to have healthy and beautiful children.
But my most frequently used strategy includes finding something to love and appreciate in the here and now. I ask myself, “What is it about this moment that I can celebrate or appreciate?” If nothing else, asking that question during a time of sibling crisis or a child meltdown makes me laugh and lowers my blood pressure.
It is during those challenging moments, when I feel my blood pressure rising, that I practice a strategy that I affectionately refer to as “Finding The Love.” At times both my husband and my children have seen me take a deep breath then say several times, quietly to myself, “Find the love, find the love.”
Recently my two daughters were arguing over a toy. I applied the “Find the love” strategy and it brought me to reflecting about my own childhood. I reminisced about how my sister and I often wrestled over a toy or book and that immediately brought a smile to my face. It was, in part, those times that brought my sister and me closer.
My sister was my first best friend and she was the first person who helped me learn to share. Reflecting on those times with my sister helped me to see how this stressful moment was assisting my daughters to grow. That recognition enabled me to approach the whole situation differently and much more effectively.
This week, I invite you to Find The Love and Celebrate The Moment with your children.
Coaching Inquiries: When standing in the place of “Find The Love,” how might you see a stressful situation with your children differently? How can “Finding The Love / Celebrating The Moment” serve you? What is it for you to celebrate the moment (even the stressful ones) with your children?
